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| In March of 2002 I found a British release of "Halfnelson" and "A Woofer In Tweeter's Clothing" combined, complete, on a single CD (ESM CD 877) at CDNow, but a few years later I can't find a trace of it anywhere on the Web. Fortunately, both were re-released individually in January 2006; they are available at Amazon: Halfnelson and A Woofer In Tweeter's Clothing. You may also find the Sparks Compilations of interest. | |
It was a grand old time we had
She was there and I was pretty glad about that too
Knowing that she knew a thing or two
She was a wonder girl (some girl, that girl)
She was a wonder to her friends
It's a wonder that she always started trends
And after all, trends make us contenders in the Fall
Oooooh, wonder girl, do me right at this ungodly hour
She was a wonder to her dad
A self-made man who owned all that he had
And after all, self-made men have daughters who just won't ball
Oooooh, wonder girl, make me a wonder boy
She was a wonder girl (some girl, that girl)
She was a wonder girl (some girl, that girl)
She was a wonder girl (some girl, that girl)
She was a wonder girl (some girl, that girl)
She was a wonder girl (some girl, that girl)
She was a wonder girl (some girl, that girl)
Fa la fa lee, she thinks only of the higher parts of me
Such a shame, were I she
I'd set my sights much lower then I'd sing fa la fa la fa lee
But as it stands now that would be a felony
Oh, fa la la, la lee.
I sing fa la fa lee, but as it stands now that would be a felony
Oh, fa la la, la lee.
Let's ask Roger, Roger, if he knows what I mean
Roger, Roger, let's take your Sue
How does she do it Roger, how does she do it, Roger, how?
Roger, Roger, has Sue got the balance right for you, Roger, I ask you Roger, has she got the balance for you?
Has she got it, has she got it?
Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger
High C up and High C down down down
Since you left the opera you just frown a lot and mumble, "I'm humble."
Press clippings hang from torn wallpaper
Dust covered phones, no one would ring her
High C up and High C down down down
Since you left the opera you just frown a lot and you tell me
Tell me of the time girl when you were so big in Vienna
And the people paid good money yes they did just to hear you in your splendor
But that's all over now
But that's all over now
Limited tastes, I wish I could help you
A rock-headed lad, I have got to help you
High C up and High C down down down
Since you left the opera you just go round a lot and mumble, "I'm humble."
Come on home with me and we'll sing our little hearts out
We will hit High C or maybe somewhere thereabouts
Please, go easy now with him
Because this is his final whim
So be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
Fletcher Honorama shall we justify the eighty Junes you've seen?
Since that might be stretching things we'll merely sing the songs that made you scream
Please, go easy now with him
Because this is his final whim
So be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
Intakes and mistakes and lunch pails and headaches were willed to your one living twin
I think that maybe you should have kept half of them, after all you worked for them
After all you worked for them
Telecast in fifty states and brought to you by Anti-Wrinkle Dew
That's Fletcher Honorama see the world now from a different point of view
You, go easy now with him
Because this is his final whim
So be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
So be sure so be sure that the boy don't die before the morn
It's a ballet, simple ballet, so let's dance on
Pick a partner, take a tall one, take a small one, take a fat one and let's dance on
Crews will film it, add the music, while the world has its feet engaged
Some critics love it, yet some pan it, some say "It's likely to cause a rage"
There'll be long shots, there'll be close shots, there'll be mid-shots
Simple ballet was an idea, then a novel, next a movie, soon on T.V.
It's promotion of a new way of thinking
Instead of "Hey, orange drink," vendors will say, "Get your souvenir posters of the ballet."
Do a plié for the D.A. when he comes round
Your alleged conduct with the director has raised some questions that he wants answered (Good for the ratings)
It's a ballet, we thought a ballet and we danced on
We had no idea you'd hang your coat on an issue thin as tissue so we danced our ballet
And we danced our ballet
Yes we danced our ballet
And we danced our ballet
And we danced our ballet
And we danced our ballet
Oooh, sail me far away
Slowboat, bring me back another day, yay, yay, yay
Oooh, sail me far away
Slowboat sail off toward the seventh sea
Far away from you, but somehow coming close again and again
And again as we near from some sign it appears
That you won't come home, won't come home just today
Oooh, sail me far away
Slowboat, bring me back another day, yay, yay, yay
Slowboat takes me where I'll always be
Far away from you, but knowing that you won't come near me but you hear me
And you'll always be a true love to me
Though you're never home, well I'll come back another day
Oooh, sail me far away
Slowboat, bring me back another day, yay, yay, yay
Oooh, sail me far away
Slowboat, bring me back another day
Slowboat, bring me back another day, yay, yay, yay
Oooh, sail me far away
Slowboat, bring me back another day
"Oooh, let's do it!"
You will put your good traits in
You will throw your bad traits out
Do the Homozygous as you shake them all about
Unless you've got your dominance down in your genes you'll have a kid, invalid just like Mendel's beans
Oh hold me, you are my one and only phenotype
And together we could have a genotype
Darwin willed that we would do or die
Brains and brawn are both in great supply
Kalikaks a-swimmin' back and forth will multiply
You could choose your ancestors and grow just like a weed
Pick a stud to congeal your blood, and get your earlobes freed
Through the night the war was fought
Each "eye liner" took two small drops
Reaction - Elation - Joy, Joy, Joy
Every girl took in a doctor
The Constitution says: "you must house the men"
Well, each doctor undermined a plot, oh yes they did
All the weight that was soon lost
They erected as a golden cross
Remember the weight is no longer here
Through the street girls sang
The marching band brought on the rain
The Doctors stood by the gold cross
One "eye liner", she had an idea
She read the Book, the Golden Book
It seems another Man had come across a cross
Well, Dr. Jones they crucified
But, all their weight was returned back
Care to dance my lady
Live near here?
They certainly sound in fine form, do you care?
I am quite partial
Broke, spent, I still marshal
Follow me my lady to my home
See my large collection, some on loan
Of every big band record ever made
I had to sell my heater, so don't shake
I am quite partial
Broke, spent, I still marshal all my strength when big bands blare
I smile like Herbert Hoover when the big bands play
I dreamed of bankers' daughters, better days
For I am quite partial
Broke, spent, I marshal all my strength when big bands play
Knowing of their flare for filling empty stomachs, empty hearts, they're not so far apart, they're not so far apart
And if you can't sleep late one night, it sure ain't your coffee, well it's the bunk
I am quite partial
Broke, spent, I still marshal all my strength
I smile like Herbert Hoover when the big bands play
I frequent the dance halls most every night into the day
I know the name of every trombone player that exists
They don't know I used to blow before the Crash had hit our land
Before the Crash
I find it so much warmer in the ballroom than at home
A common bond unites us so we're really not alone
Sure we've got our problems, but tonight we won't admit it
Take my hand my lady friend, we'll make it seem like we were there tonight
Just what is his game?
Could he be enticed?
No, no one's quite that lame
No one's quite that nice
No, no more Mr. Nice Guys,
Few are left but him
No more Mr. Nice Guys
The Nice Guys cannot and the Nice Guys shall not, the Nice Guys will not win
She expressed a strong desire in relieving him of his anxiety
She succeeded very well for now she's mother to a nice family
If you had to call a winner you would call it her, though she might disagree
He could be enticed
His game had to end
But he's still quite nice
She sees other men than him
No more Mr. Nice Guys
Nice guys won't suffice
No more Mr. Nice Guys
The Nice Guys cannot, and the Nice Guys shall not, the Nice Guys won't suffice, no no
He could be enticed
His game had to end
But he's still quite nice
She sees other men than him
No more Mr. Nice Guys
Nice guys won't suffice
No more Mr. Nice Guys
The Nice Guys cannot and the Nice Guys shall not, the Nice Guys will not win
No more Mr. Nice Guys,
Few are left but him
No more Mr. Nice Guys
The Nice Guys cannot and the Nice Guys shall not, the Nice Guys won't suffice
No more Mr. Nice Guys,
Few are left but him
No more Mr. Nice Guys
The Nice Guys cannot and the Nice Guys shall not, the Nice Guys will not win
No more Mr. Nice Guys,
Few are left but him
No more Mr. Nice Guys
The Nice Guys shall not and the Nice Guys will not, the Nice Guys can not win